


Want and Need

by nekosd43



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Sharing Body Heat, Shipping If You Squint, i LIKE CUDDLING OKAY, merle is barely in it, the idea of merle is in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9410822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekosd43/pseuds/nekosd43
Summary: Never go to bed angry, Julia had said.Magnus is finding that really hard to do tonight.Taako takes up boxing.  Magnus smells like a dog.  Merle has a nap.





	

**Author's Note:**

> All I know is this would take place after Crystal Kingdom. I intentionally left out character descriptions so people could slip their own head-cannons in.

He was being an idiot.

It was close to freezing out.  Or at least, that’s what it felt like with all the moisture in the air.  That’s the problem with setting up camp near a body of water - things tend to get colder.  He had tried to warn them about this.  But Merle’s condition had been insistent that it was time, and Taako had pitched a fit, so they had stopped and built a fire and rolled out their bedrolls.

And now Magnus found that he absolutely could not sleep.

It wasn’t the cold.  That he could deal with.  He always ran hot as a furnace and his bedroll was lined with genuine ethically reclaimed Gnoll fur (it was a gift from a Gnoll craftsman he once knew back home).  Even the little bit of misty air touching his forehead didn’t bother him too much.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel safe either.  Sure, sleeping out in the open was always a risk, but the forest around them had the right amount of life to it and the air was still enough that he’d be able to hear someone coming, and he was a light enough sleeper.  There were enough twigs and leaves on the ground that he’d hear intruders from a mile away.

No, the reason that he couldn’t sleep was far more idiotic than that.

Jules had told him never to go to bed angry.

He wasn’t fuming or anything.  But he had enough of a falling out with Taako over the day’s events to make him a little sore.  Yes, they _were_ lost.  Yes, they were running low on supplies.  No, he did not have a plan on what to do next, but since when was _he_ the one who was in charge?  Merle was the one who had organized this job.  Why was Taako yelling at _him_ about it?

Of course, the real reason was that Merle was off the hook was that he had taken an arrow in the chest after a scuffle with some kobolds, and they were out of spell slots until they had taken a “long rest”.  Nothing calls for a long rest more than someone having a sharp stick shoved through them.  Taako, as angry and irritated as he was, couldn’t bring himself to yell at Merle for getting shot.

So that made it Magnus’ fault.

Of course it _wasn’t_ Magnus’ fault.  He wasn’t the one who had burned spell slots on trivial bullshit, like casting Zone of Truth on an informant that _wasn’t even lying_ , or levitating over a _puddle_ so he didn’t get his feet wet.  But Taako was frustrated and needed a punching bag.

And boy was Magnus the perfect punching bag.

_“Fuck you and fuck your stupid fucking face!”_

He knew that Taako wasn’t actually mad at _him_ , he was more mad at the whole concept of life in this moment.  Everything in the universe sucked, but only Magnus was listening.  That didn’t mean he was okay with being picked on because it was convenient.

Merle was going to be fine of course.  Magnus had carried him to safety and after they made camp he was able to rest and recover enough magic to do basic first aid on himself.  It was a pretty shallow wound, and it had missed everything important.  He had definitely been through worse.  A little more sleep and he’d be back to his old crabby self.

And Taako would be fine too.  He put up a cold front, but Magnus knew he only got so frustrated because he cared.  Today had sucked, but it wasn’t the end.  They would all get out of this one in one piece.  Tomorrow they’d wake up and Taako would not say anything of substance, but things would go back to normal and things would be fine.

So why was he still so miffed about it?

Jules had told him never to go to bed angry.  And he was angry.  Angry that Taako had yelled at him for no reason, but also angry that things had gone tits up to begin with.  Angry that Merle had gotten hurt at all.  Angry that he hadn’t stopped those Kobolds before it had become a problem.

He rolled over and gazed at Merle through the dying embers of the fire.  He was asleep now, buried under a couple skins and blankets.  The old man got cold easily, and his soulwood arm was especially in danger during an evening cold snap, so they had pooled all the blankets they had between the three of them to ensure he stayed warm.  Magnus didn’t mind giving up his blanket.  It was cold, but he still had his own body heat and fur-lined bed roll.  But as he lay there, listening to the last crackles of the fire, he did realize one thing.

Taako did not have the same luxury.

He could actually hear Taako’s teeth chattering.  He tried to lift his head to look over at the elf, but found that Taako had moved out of his line of sight, away from the fire.  No wonder he was cold.  His bedroll was very thin - a carryover from a life spent mostly indoors before this.  It was mostly meant to restrict his movement while he meditated, since he was prone to fits.  He was not the kind of guy that slept outdoors if he could help it.

“Taako,” Magnus hissed, but Taako didn’t answer.

Getting up on his elbows and looking around, he spotted Taako, wandering around the edge of camp, picking up sticks.  He watched quietly for a moment, until the elf returned to the dying fire and dropped a few of the sticks on it.  They sputtered, and failed to ignite.

“Those are too wet,” Magnus said.

“Shut up,” Taako replied, lifting his hands and wiggling his fingers (Magnus recognized the evocation motion for Produce Flame as Taako continued to mutter under his breath).  A small flame did produce itself just above the gathered kindling, but still it failed to do much but smoke.  Taako tried again.  And again.

“Seriously those are wet _and_ green, they’re not going to catch,” Magnus repeated.

Taako slumped in front of the fire pit.

“Shit.”

Magnus watched a little longer as the last embers of the old fire petered out.  “Are you cold?”

Taako turned to him and glared.

“No shit Dick Tracy, you really cracked that case wide open.”

Magnus sat up and undid the catch on his bedroll.

“Get over here.”

“You want me to get in _bed_ with you?” Taako whispered, putting a hand on his chin.

“Why not?” Magnus asked, patting the ground.  “I’m warm and my bedroll is warm and you’re cold.  Get your ass over here.”

He could see on Taako’s face that he was conflicted.  Probably because he was trying to wrestle with the idea that their last interaction was a fight, and now Magnus was being nice.  He didn’t know a whole lot about Taako’s past, but he had pieced together enough about his personality to know that Taako didn’t trust altruistic kindness.

“No ulterior motive I promise,” Magnus replied.

“Last thing I said to you before you went to sleep was ‘Fuck you and fuck your stupid fucking face,’” Taako said slowly.  “Why are you-”

“Taako seriously it’s not a big deal,” Magnus said and this time he actually realized it wasn’t.  He _had_ been mad, but this took precedence.  “I’d hate to see you freeze to death just because we had a disagreement.”

Taako made a face that clearly showed he didn’t understand.  Magnus had learned over the years that while Taako was quick to flip flop on emotions, he was slow to expect that from others.  If anything, it seemed like he expected people to always resent him.  Magnus hated to think what might have caused such a vibrant person to hate their light so much.

“Look, I don’t like to go to sleep angry,” Magnus said, pausing for a moment to reflect on that.   _She was right_.  He laid down and rolled on his side.  “We both had a bad day, and we both said dumb shit.  I’m sorry.  Come over here." 

A silence.  It was like calling over a spooked deer.  And then Taako carefully scooted his way over to the bedroll.

Magnus lifted up the corner again and Taako slid in.  He tried to lay as far as possible from Magnus, like he was afraid of getting in his space.  Magnus could feel the gap between them like it was an entire separate person.  This wouldn’t do.

“Come here,” Magnus laughed, grabbing Taako and pulling him closer.  “I’m a furnace and you feel like ice.  Get close.”

Taako resisted against him for a moment and Magnus was afraid he had scared him off again.  He released the elf, and lifted his hands in the universal gesture of _I’m sorry_!  Taako narrowed his eyes, but it seemed to diffuse his tension.

“This is… I’m gonna go with awkward,” Taako hummed, rolling on his side to face him.

“That’s because you’re all the way over there,” Magnus replied.  “I promise, I’m not trying to pull anything.”

“Oh I see,” Taako smiled, “You just invited me to bed for _funsies_.”

Magnus elbowed him in the chest.

“Dude I just…  I feel bad,” Magnus said.  “You wouldn’t have had to give up all your blankets if Merle hadn’t gotten hurt.”

“Yeah, well, the old man didn’t help any by blowing his spell slots,” Taako admitted.

“I just don’t want you to think I don’t care about you guys,” Magnus sighed, and he caught a hint of surprise on Taako’s face.  “Nobody should have gotten hurt.  It’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

He thought he sensed Taako scoot just a little bit closer to him.

“Nah I mean…  well you take the big hits, but nobody could have seen that arrow my dude,” he muttered, “and maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t been fucking around with levitating at the time.”

“It’s not your fault Taako.”

“Well it’s not yours either!” he answered, and now it was Magnus’ turn to be surprised.  This was probably the closest thing he had ever gotten to an apology out of Taako.

They lay there in silence for a moment, studying each other’s faces.  Taako didn’t sleep, but he looked tired.  Today had been a chore.  Magnus was sure he looked just as ragged.

Taako shrugged.  “This is a nice bedroll.”

Magnus smiled.  “Gnoll fur,” he replied, extending an arm again.  “Seriously though you are shivering please get closer.” 

Taako edged in closer and Magnus enveloped him in his arms.  He held him, waiting for the tremors of cold to stop, waiting for the ice to leave his skin.  Eventually the elf stilled, face buried in Magnus’ chest.

“Fuck, it smells horrible in here.”

Magnus laughed.  “Nobody said Gnolls smelled good.”

“Is this why you smell so terrible all the time?  I thought you were just a stinky guy, but turns out you’re sweating all night in dog fur?”

“Gnolls aren’t dogs, they’re dog-like people.”

“Smelly dog people.”

Silence.  Taako shifted around in Magnus’ arms, trying to get comfortable (or maybe just to come up for air).

“Taako flip over.”

“Why?”

“I think this would be more comfortable for you if you little spoon this.”

He felt a small tremor of laughter.  “I thought you said there was no ulterior motive for this.”

Magnus felt his face get hot.  “No I’m serious!”

“I’m just kidding you goof,” Taako laughed, rolling over in Magnus’ arms so that he was facing away.  “This is better anyway, I can get some fresh air.”

Taako was not a cuddler.  Magnus already knew this.  Magnus was the kind of person who punctuated every interaction with physical contact.  A touch on the arm, a firm handshake, a hug, a gentle nudge.  It was just who he was, he liked to connect with people and for him that meant touch.  

Taako had spent the last couple of years they had known each other actively trying to _avoid_ that contact.  Magnus went to pat him on the arm, Taako would move aside.  Magnus went for a hug, Taako would duck out of the way.  It was a game they played, one that Taako usually won because as badly as Magnus wanted to get close, he recognized discomfort when he saw it.  He didn’t want to make Taako uncomfortable.  They had settled on high fives as being the middle ground, with no discussion of it.  

This was how they do.

But now Magnus was holding him.  Holding him _close_ , and he wasn’t trying to actively escape.  This may have been the first time he had ever willingly let himself be hugged.  Magnus felt a small feeling of joy flutter around in his stomach.

“Thanks for trusting me.”

Taako huffed out a held breath, sending a misty cloud out into the cold night air.  “Well you know, I’m not big on freezing to death.”

Magnus released his grip on Taako and Taako didn’t move away.  A good sign.

“You know, all you had to do was _say_ you were cold.”

“I thought I could handle it,” Taako replied, “Didn’t realize restarting a fucking fire was a goddamn artform.”

“It’s the river,” Magnus answered.  “We’re too close to the river, so everything is wet.  I started that fire with wood from my bag.”

“You carry _wood_?” Taako scoffed.

“Yeah for carving,” Magnus shrugged, “I’ve got tinder too.”

“You’re so fucking good at this adventuring thing.”

“I just like being prepared,” Magnus yawned, unable to mask the sleep creeping into his foggy brain.  Jules had been right.  It wasn’t that he _shouldn’t,_ Magnus _couldn’t_ go to sleep angry.

Taako glanced over his shoulder.  “Go to sleep Mags.”

“You gonna be okay?” Magnus asked.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Taako answered.  “I can keep watch on you guys from here too.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Absolutely.  I’m golden, go to sleep.”

Magnus closed his eyes and felt sleep start to take him.   _Finally._

Just as he lost consciousness, he felt Taako turn again in his arms, cuddling closer and burying his face in his chest.  He knew in the morning Taako would be gone and they would pretend this didn’t happen.  Magnus would act like he didn’t know about this, that he had been asleep.  That was okay.

It was enough that it had happened at all.

**Author's Note:**

> People were so kind on my last one I figured I'd give this another shot! Turns out I am a one-trick pony and my trick is MAKING ROUGH BOYS CUDDLE. Ah well. It's fun to play. Enjoy some boys who need hugs.


End file.
